Allow, let go and breathe and then what.. you ask?  Surrender. Forgive. Let Go.

Find Gratitude for every experience from a cup of coffee, to sharing time and space with someone you love and especially for those times that feel like they won’t ever end.

The past few weeks have pressed, pushed, and pulled out every ounce of resistance I did not know I had or thought I worked through or just did not want to acknowledge was even mine.

Resistance to what, I wanted to know, but what I was shown was resistance.

Resistance, to honor me, those I love, my gifts or change yet all I know is no matter what I was resisting.

So, I stopped. I listened I watched and asked for guidance.  It was there, before my eyes, the lack of sleep and the desire to just run.

I know for me, the desire to run, who knows where I would even go,  was a sign to let go, allow and surrender.

It does not matter what is causing it or why its really happening. The most important part is that we notice, our emotions, our body, our behavior and why we are doing what we are doing in that moment.

I had to ask to listen, to let go, to trust.  Never easy, painful yes, yet always necessary.

Large decisions shifted in a direction unexpected at first, unsettling, yet exciting.

Letting go of resistance served up the change.

Once we embrace being open and surrender, that is when the gift drops in, a new view of ourselves.  We make changes in our life some seemingly subtle yet profound.

Growth and expansion of our hearts even when we know we have asked for help and spoke out loud “I receive, I am ready” will catch us off guard and sometimes it is the resistance to ask for help that keeps us stuck.

The old shields of protection must fall away as they no longer work.  The Love that is being called in cannot be received nor honored if we do not accept the grace of all that is occurring within our lives.

Love the resistance, the pain, the fear and then let it all go.

Regardless of what we believe we are always protected.

So now what, the path has changed, another unexpected gift.

May the road be wide and full of adventure.











Patience and Hope

Where are we now on this journey here today the 9th day of October 2018?

As I focus on my own health,  I watch others flourish and those that do not.

Can I have or find the patience for my own growth, health and focused forgiveness as well as for others?

I am not sure some moments.

Or is it time to quiet the world around me and listen to my own thoughts and find hope?

No matter what or where my, our focus goes, it is all,  at this moment seemingly so chaotic.  We have been groomed to perceive that chaos is negative.

But if we step back and we notice the Love and Light being shown on the Darkness within our own lives and the world that surrounds us and see Beauty, Gratitude and Joy, there is where we see patience and hope.

I must be patient in my own life and hold Hope within that all I desire will transform.

No matter what we try to push forward, Divine Timing is driving the course.

We can have a tantrum or we can sit and breathe.

Go for a walk. Listen to our breath.

Patience and Hope can seem intangible…unattainable.

There is one piece missing, the willingness to stop, so slow down, to listen.

We only have one second, one moment at a time.  Sages across the ages remind us of that, so what I am here to do?

I am focusing on Hope and Patience, and Love and Joy to support me as I bring forth the gifts of my soul.

That is all there is.




A safari is under way, the deep discovery of soul. Questioning of self has fallen away and opened a doorway to new adventures.  Desire and Transforming our Hearts for change.

Our Hearts hold us as we transform, grow, listen and honor what we need for the catalyst of change.

November was my last post, so much has moved, a recognition of health and change has prompted an allowing of my heart to complete, to honor and to embrace all I have done up until now in my life.

A move is around the corner.  The delicious excitement is intoxicating.

Certainty has shown up again, a familiar friend.  Honoring all the choices have brought profound healing and Light.

Excitement unfolds the Certainty of Love in Love for Love.







I am sitting here going through photos.  One by one the moment of that time is touched. The joy of my children is what keeps me on track.  Their growth, my growth, their smile, my smile.   So much life has been lived, so much love.


The grief strikes this time, unexpected, not anticipated, I have wanted to embrace the photo sorting for my kids, to give them a visual of their life.  To connect them to their life as young children,  before their dad died.

The marker is deep, its no longer a trench of oozing goo, time has helped. Yet, today I have to sit back and look and listen to where I am now so I stay here, present and accounted for on November 26, 2017, 12:15PM.

I am amazed at the burning in my heart, first its anger.  Then a deep sadness takes my breath away, I can’t stand it, the tears pour down my cheeks, warm tears, fresh grief.  I allow the flow of words here, my grief moves up and out to a deep sense of appreciation for everything.

I made it through the thicket, the sludge of necessary change. My kids made it too.  Has it been easy, the photos’ make it seem so.  They tell a story about love, acceptance, joy and change.

It has not been easy, its been worth it and necessary.

To be the woman I am today,  for all that is flowing to me and through me, to give my children as well as the new family I am a part of now,  I must change, embrace me and change.  To stand grounded, confident and at peace knowing I am enough, I did enough and that is all there is.

Within the grief of death there is more, the grief of my childhood, I stopped the generational system of abuse. I confronted it, face forward, protecting myself and my children. I am always amazed when I look at photos, the change in me, the beauty and light shining through as time passes.  The peace within me shining through my eyes is a wonderful validation of grace.

I have faced my life experience and done the very best I know how to take responsibility for the behaviors created to survive that did not support thriving. I have faced change and let go of so much, behaviors, people, places and things. In that process I am who I am now.  I cannot forget to honor the journey.

Do those moments of not knowing how to feel or react or express occur now, yes, they do. Today the emotions were fresh and flowing.

I am so grateful, to be here, this moment, this breath, for me, my health, all my children,  and my husband for he stands next to me and honors all that I am.

Embracing thriving, now I see, what I needed to see in those photos.  There was joy through the sorrow.  There was love honoring the anger and sadness. And there was grace and forgiveness.


Thank you for reading my hearts expression.

Peace to you in all that you do.



Doubting our Doubt

Thinking and thinking and thinking about things and stuff, our doubt.  What is doubt, it is feeling uncertain, or lack of confidence or hesitation.  Doubting our doubt.

Transitions are ever ongoing. In one day we go through a life time of emotions and experiences.  What we forget is exactly that..that we must stop for a moment and listen to our heart, our breath.

Our exterior world can wreck havoc on our inner world.  What I must remind myself often, is how grateful I am for where I am at this moment this breath.

Is it easy to remember to do that.. I would love to say that I have mastered it.  I have not however I do repeat kind words to myself, such as “I forgive me, or I love and approve of myself, or I am radiant being filled with Light and Love”

I picture those I love in my minds eye and wish them peace and send forgiveness and grace to those whom I have let go of.

All of these exercises remove the doubt, the spinning thoughts, the doubt that can make my heart rate increase or frustration show up.

All I know is I must actively remember that doubt is another form of worry and worry steals joy.

Joy is what brings peace to my soul’s desire.  Bring on JOY!!!


Deep within

Time, after time and oh more time.  I cannot believe how quickly each moment is moving.

All I know is,  I continue to let go of what does not serve,  Beauty and Peace has moved in.

What does that look like in a day, gratitude comes quick and shows up in the most unexpected places. This time of year nature slows down to rest and honor the harvest of the year.  Honor you, honor what you do not like and let it go. Honor you, honor what you love and appreciate and let it go.

I wish that I knew where to start, to share all that has transpired in the past few moments, months, and years.

I am making promise to myself to write, to share and to honor the gifts within my heart.

2015-11-15 16.23.41


What will you do for you?  What do you wish for and desire?  What makes your heart sing?

Clouds, Sun, Moon and Eclipse



Today, August 21st, 2018, is the first time in over two years that I sat down and articulated my Heart. There has been so much life lived in 730 days.. how many breaths is that?  Hmm lets see, 1,051,200 minutes.

Got a minute? Lets talk about the power of gratitude, forgiveness and letting go.

This photo above was taken during the Eclipse! The shadows look like I am standing in the clouds.

I love moments like today! Leading up to the peak of the eclipse felt was so wonderful. It has been weeks, months, years truly, leading up to this moment.

What does today represent for you?  The beginning of something new or the end of an era?

All I know is no matter what your belief, take the time today to sit and listen to the whispers of the sun and moon, for the stars hold gifts for you.

Are you Ready?

What matters is that we act, move forward, let go, trust and forgive. Repeat.

The resistance that shows up as you read this, let it go.

The doubt, just let it go.

I truly believe that we must turn away from the whispers that haunt us that keep us small.

Yes, we must face those moments of grief, but there is Love, Light and Joy waiting on the other side.

It is a breath, its saying No, or saying Yes.

Yes to Love, Yes to letting go. Yes to abundance.

Yes to health, yes to All that comes your way.

Focus on the Sun and Moon, and the clouds will part ways.

May you always know the Beauty of you, Honor the gifts you bring and Laugh and Laugh and Laugh some more.

In Loving Joy,